Participant #1:
So welcome to episode four of season three, everyone. Hi. This is episode five, babe.
Participant #1:
Sorry. Episode five changed us to having names now. Okay. It’s fine. If you’ve just joined. This is Mariacan on Instagram. And I’m joined by the lovely Robin of a tired witch on Instagram. And we have a special guest.
Participant #1:
I’m John El. Penny on Twitter
Participant #1:
the Fire and they didn’t catch until after did you see it said John L. Tenney. That made me laugh so hard. I couldn’t fix it. There was no way I could fix that. I fixed it. I fixed it. I re uploaded it. Nevermind. She got it. I did. Middle initials as L. John L. Tenney. John the Tenny. John the Tenney. Sounds very regal of you. Yeah, that sounds badass. So our listeners can’t tell this is like a very special episode and we’re already started pregaming for it. This is going to be our Never have I ever episode. Yes. It’s fun. So much fun. And I have no idea how to play that.
Participant #1:
Million years old. You’re sad. I feel like people have been doing this since, like, the medieval times, right? No, I’ve played maybe rather no. Okay, I will explain for the elderly amongst us, never have I ever is somebody will make a statement that says never have I ever. And then they’ll finish the sentence. Right. And if you’ve done it, you have to drink and then you have to explain the situation that made you to drink. So hypothetically speaking, I would say never have I ever had blue hair. I drink it and I’d say I’ve been dying my hair blue since forever. That would be the ones that are going to be more like witchcraft themed would just be fun because I don’t know both of you and I’m really excited for both of you to drink.
Participant #1:
And then I can ask you, what would you rather? Yeah, we can do that, too. That would be fun.
Participant #1:
The podcast that you’re on is pretty neat. And you were on with one of our other guests from a few yeah. When Jess was on. Tell us a little bit about your podcast. What’s up, weirdo? It’s me and my friend Jessica. We just recorded our 52nd episode. So our one year yeah, this last one that dropped was our one year episode. We literally for a year talked about nothing. I love it. Or the best podcast monster Truck thing. That was hilarious. Yeah. We went to Monster Truck and I dressed up like a normal human civilian man with a baseball cap and a puffy coat. And Jack lost me in the crowd because everybody was wearing baseball hats and puffy coats. Oh, my. I keep saying, Goddammit, blue thunder. And my husband’s like, nobody gets up at you. And I’m like, no, it’s good. It’s funny. It was so funny. I got so into character. I was afraid that looking like a civilian human man, someone was going to approach me and talk to me. So my sister is a professor at the University of Michigan. So she’s a really big University of Michigan football fan, and she knows all the sports and my brother in law too. So I had them. I was like, you have to tell me one sports thing that I can keep in my head so that I can sound like a normal human man. We were at the bar and I tried it out with the bartender. I walked up and I was like, joanne Howard never got kicked out of the basketball game for punching that coach. And he immediately started talking to me about basketball. And I was just agreeing, how the fuck do you know about sports? I was like, I don’t. I know this one fucking thing.
Participant #1:
Actually, what I haven’t told you is my secret life where I enjoy sports at all times. It’s very good for me. I hate sports so much. My joke is a terrible old man dad joke. My joke is I am bad at three things sports and math. I can relate.
Participant #1:
Oh, my God,
Participant #1:
I’m bad at three things. Yes, I got it now. I got it.
Participant #1:
I don’t know. I was writing about this actually yesterday, but it’s super curious to me. It took me a long time to kind of find witchcraft and magic, but thankfully I had an older sister. And so very early on, I saw this weird I saw the bridge between worlds in my sister. Like, I was being forced to go outside and play sports and play cops and robbers with my friends. Meanwhile, my sister and her friends were, like, predicting the future and folding paper to make Kudy catchers to predict the future. And they were doing numerology to figure out who they were going to marry. And they would have summer parties and do lots of featherstick as a port. And I was like, why can’t I do that stuff? And I started to realize at a later age that sport is just magic with the mysticism taken out of it. So, like, the whole point of baseball is you take a magic wand, right, and your goal is to circumnavigate the pentagram to get back home. Football is hollowed ground covered with chalk and symbols, and you have an elder that tells the initiated what to do. And they’re surrounded by the uninitiated whose chant in unison affect the desired result on the piece of hallowed ground. Like it’s all magic. It’s just been stripped away. I’ve never thought of it that way either. That is so neat. All these sports and job guys who are like, there’s no such thing as fucking magic. All they fucking do is magic. They wear their fucking special shirt to win a game
Participant #1:
because these are magical panties that I can’t take off. It’s like gross. First of all, you absolutely can take them off, and you should. Second of all,
Participant #1:
they’re just like hard on the board. They’ve done that. Like they figured into the body where it’s like formed around and it’s like I can’t get it. So when did you start practicing? I tried to figure that out. And I think it really does if I really push my mind back, I have a memory being maybe eight or nine. And this isn’t so much practicing magic, but I have a memory of being eight or nine and running around my grandfather’s wheat field up in northern Michigan. And I have this real visceral memory of the tops of the wheat kind of brushing against my face and chest. And it’s only been in maybe the past 15 or 20 years that I realized that couldn’t have happened unless I was floating above the wheat. Like it would have been slapping me in the chest and in the face. Yeah. And then it was probably around that time, which is, like I said, 8910, around there, where I really started again, thinking back, I really started talking to the wind and demanding that it would do things and talking to trees and talking to animals and then thinking to myself, like, oh, if I take this stick in that mud and this rock and I put them in this way, it’s going to make it rain tomorrow. And so I consider that like my earliest forms of working in witchcraft, like doing these really natural childlike things that seemed to have an effect. It wasn’t until I was 15 or 16 that I met a woman named Marianne Cuccolo, who was Michigan’s good witch. Her name was Gondola, her witchcraft name. And I went to a metaphysical convention in my punk rock gear, spikes and spiky hair and everything. And I was sitting in the hotel lobby of the convention and she came up, she sat down, very motherly. And the first thing she said to me was, why do you not want anyone to talk to you? And I was like, No, I don’t mind. And she’s like, you have all these things on you that make people stay away. Spikes, your hair is even spiked, like you don’t want people to engage with you. Why is that? Then I thought, here comes this lecture. And she started talking to me about magic and perception and reality and how I portray myself. And it was just this conversation I had never had before. And then she was like, you can go home and burn a candle. And then she started telling me things. And I think that’s really when I actually started to practice. Consciously? Yeah, consciously. And then she suggested a book to me, it was like a modern witchcraft book. And I think again, this would be about 1986 or 87. And the author, Scott Cunningham, is from Royal Oak, Michigan, which is where I’m from. The real connection with that and that really spun me off into that direction. I did not know that about me. You guys are like neighbors. Yeah, me either. Literally lived like, half a mile away from my house where I live now. That’s really mean. He moved very quickly away from Royal Oak. It was not the pinnacle of acceptance up until about maybe ten years ago. Yeah,
Participant #1:
but it’s still the Midwest.
Participant #1:
Yeah. I think that’s essentially your earliest thing about being a child and be like, this is going to happen. Childlike stuff is so important to our crafts now and back then. Kids are like, extraordinarily powerful because what they believe, like, they believe it with their whole being. And as adults, we’re constantly fighting that. It’s so funny when I see like, a ceremonial magician or a witch or someone saying, like, I can’t believe I have to this ritual makes me have to turn around four times. I have to stand up and turn around four times. What’s that mean? But, like, any seven year old kid will be like, oh, you want me to spin around as fast as I can? That’s
Participant #1:
on my body. Thank you so much. I’m happy to do it. I’m getting huge pieces of chalk so I can make crazy things on the ground. Yes, I will absolutely do that.
Participant #1:
Thank you so much.
Participant #1:
So if you just started listening to us. Every podcast we talk about a tarot card. We go over the universal meaning and then our own interpretations of them. We do this because hearing others opinions helps beginners form their own opinions, or even those who have been practicing for a while, expand their views on other meanings. So this week we’re talking about the three of cups reversed on this card. When it is upright, we see three fem figures having a joyous time. They’re dancing around a circle with their cups raised to the sky, and they are surrounded by cornucopia of fruits and veg. The universal keywords to this card are gossip, isolation, and too much partying. We actually spoke about this card upright with another one of our guests, shay from last year. Okay, yeah, I figured this was like the perfect card to talk about. I totally agree. But I feel like it’s prevalent to also touch on the upright themes of this card before we jump into the reverse. So it is important to note that the threes and tarot represent our foundations and the cups are about our happiness and emotions. The three of cup shows three beings having fun and letting loose. It is important to have fun in life and do what makes us happy and just let go occasionally when we don’t, we can actually hurt our long term happiness. Now, when this card pops up reverse for readings for myself and clients, it shows one of two things. First, in most cases, it shows that someone is over partying or being far too with, laidback, or even distracting themselves from the more difficult parts of life by indulging in things that are only fun in the short term, but can quickly turn harmful, such as excess drinking, drug use, among other things. We can agree that anything in excess, like access, can become harmful. And here in the Three Cups reverse, we begin to slip into that, like the Devil’s card theme. Like, we’re not quite there yet, but we are leaning there on the border. We can easily turn things around at this point. Now, on the other hand, the second way this card can come up is when we are isolating ourselves from friends and from the outside world. This definitely will be shown in other cards in the spread, such as The Hermit showing up, the Hangman reversed Five of Cups, or any of those isolating cards, or even workaholic cards, like The Aid of Pence. So in this case, it may be time to time to go out with some friends, or even, like, with a partner, go on a date, have a dinner party, have a few drinks with friends, or just even, like, hang out at home and do a bunch of different separate things together. But whatever will get us out there socializing and not so isolated anymore. So how do you view this card? Robin, I’m totally going to disagree with you on this one. We haven’t had one that is this disagreeable in a really long time. So I think our audience appreciate that. But the three of sword or not three of those swords, the Three of Cups in reverse to me is you know how there’s that character in the front whose back is turned to us and we don’t see them? So when it’s upright, I always see it as, like, partying and all that, but to kind of, like, keep your wits about you because even though you’re partying, you don’t know everyone, right? Thus, the person’s back is turned to us when it is in reverse, the partying has gone too hard, and somebody is out. I call it very much so, like a reasonable paranoia card. Somebody in your circle of partying essentially is forgetting about your well being to keep the party going. And so they might be talking behind your back. They might be kind of aging a situation on that. Like, we’ll keep the party going, right? Keep the fun for them. And so, yeah, I always see it as a maybe it’s time to go home call tonight, look more into your friends. Yeah. Or even your friends, like the people in your surroundings that you are spending your free time with. They might not even be good friends. They might just be like relative acquaintances, but they don’t have your best interest at heart. To me, it’s always a very big red flag card. Now, I would like to preface that, because you pick this card for the night, I’m the one who does not have anyone’s best interests at heart. I will be stabbing you all in the back tonight. It’s a game. That us.
Participant #1:
If you have just joined us this week, every week we talk about upcoming lunar phases and how you can use it in your magical practice. Because this episode comes out the exact same day as the full moon that we talked about last episode. We are going to talk about the new moon that is happening on March 31, which is the new moon in era. Yeah. And some people say that’s like the most important new moon
Participant #1:
whatsoever, maria is not at all early hunting at her birthday.
Participant #1:
If you’re going to use a new moon in Aries for your practice, as always, new moons are really good for fresh start and doing magic that is going to get a launch or a new beginning in your practice. And this particular new moon is really, really good at doing things that you’ve literally never done before. Aries new moons are fiery. They are all about that kind of vitality and life force that we can bring to any kind of situation. And so, in terms of your magical practice, consider doing something brand new, something that maybe is a little bit out of your comfort zone, but is going to put you in a position that is exciting and fresh and full of confidence.
Participant #1:
The one thing I will say about this new moon okay, you better not say anything, Meghan. One thing I will say about this new moon is that sometimes some people not Maria, of course not Maria, but some people during a new moon in areas can get a little sensitive around remarks that are made in jest that perhaps were set in sensitively. And therefore we might be reactionary in that. I would recommend not doing any kind of magic that maybe is reactionary. And instead consider doing magic that is thought out, that is fresh and exciting and not so reactionary. So just consider that. Yeah, I really like for Aries, like new moons, it’s that whole Emperor and Adam Wands energy and just possibly being a little bit more aggressive. This is what I want, so I’m going to go after it no matter what. And then taking up space, but like aggressive about being like assaulting. Exactly. Taking up space in your space. Where in your life do you need a manspread right now? Like, put your spell work towards that. Let me roll out the rolodex places that I personally
Participant #1:
so, hello. We’re like a lot of wine in right now. So we already started this. So ahead. This will be fun. We’re going to play a game of Witchy never have I ever was. Some normal questions thrown in with our special guest. So this should be fun. Yeah. We explained what the game is at the beginning of the episode. We explained at the beginning. Okay, perfect. Am I supposed to lie about never. However no, you take a sip if you’ve done it and then you have to explain when it’s happened. Okay.
Participant #1:
So you guys will get me started, though? Yeah, you go first. Okay, let me bring up my list because I have a list and I’m not going to be able to think of this. Okay. Never have I ever done a whole ritual outside Skyclad. No, wait, you’re supposed to drink if you have done it. Yeah, they both drank, everybody, because we’re all about you. You have to drink if you’ve done it as well. Madame I haven’t done a whole thing outside. Like, I haven’t I’ve always lived in suburbia or on a base in the military, so I’ve never unfollowed canceled. You know what? Actually, I’ve used you as winkfaughter for years because I thought that was something and now I retract it. I’m just kidding. So we have to hear the stories. You robin first. Go on. I was 17. I had a group of witchy friends and we went to so I’m from the San Francisco Bay Area. We went to Muor Woods, which is just north of San Francisco. It’s like, got really tall redwood trees, and we did a whole ritual in the woods. And it was very much so teenage happenings. Nobody really knew what they were doing properly, but we all brought our ritual daggers, okay?
Participant #1:
We had stolen wine and we had our whole virgin out to the world. And I think it’s really saying something that sounds so magical.
Participant #1:
I’ve done a ton of rituals naked outside. My family, first of all, owns a lot of property, well, like 90 acres of property in northern Michigan, which is all trees and forests. My dad, weirdly enough, I never noticed it took the Internet for me to notice this. But I used to go back to this patch where my dad used to hunt, and I would go back there and I would do rituals to allow the animals to know, like, even though he hunts here, this is okay for you to be in this place. So I’d go back there, Sky Clyde, naked, and do this huge ritual. And when the Internet came around and Google Earth happened, I looked at my parents property through Google Earth, and the patch that my dad cleared hunt animals in is in the shape of a dick
Participant #1:
point. I live in a residential neighborhood, and the height of CIS white male privilege is that I very often go in my backyard, which does not have a fence, and I have naked rituals. And I have had the police stop at my house because neighbors have called the police and I have explained I’m doing a religious ritual, and they drive away. My clock is out for God. Have you ever thought about that?
Participant #1:
It’s not a big deal. Which my wife was like, you’ve done rituals Skyclad, inside without me? I’m like, Yeah, like a million times. I’ve only done it, like, once or twice. Like, really few times. I’m very shy. Nobody believes that.
Participant #1:
Robin nicks? Yeah. I’ll go so never have I ever been hit on and solicited for sex at a paranormal convention.
Participant #1:
I knew Maria was this means someone solicited you or you solicited traction.
Participant #1:
I knew you both are going to drink for this one. That’s why I put it in my back pocket.
Participant #1:
Offers with your story.
Participant #1:
I don’t know how strangely, but being a single older man who has never been married, who doesn’t have kids, who’s into witchy weird paranormal stuff when I go to conventions, there are a lot of people who find that very attractive. And I am soliciting very often.
Participant #1:
I think it really just has to do with, here’s a person that I know is accepting of who I am and doesn’t judge people on who they are or what they think. It’s all races, genders types, like tennis. You want to get down. And I am somewhat provincial, strangely enough, and I’m now old enough to be like, I don’t want to have to take showers and hang out with people I don’t know. But thank you. Thank you so much, but no. Maria actually, the last pagan ferry that we went to, like, this big group of guys followed my family around, but I found out they were following me around. As soon as my wife and daughter left, they were like, hey, how are you? What are you doing? And just, like, blatantly hitting on me. And then they just kind of, like, stepped away. And they kept staring at me and looking me up and down. I heard one of them like, an asshole be like, that’s how witches are supposed to look. And then I was sitting in the grass listening to, like, this pagan band perform. I don’t know, they kept asking me out and stuff like that. And I was, like, really uncomfortable and embarrassing because I’m like, I’m literally here with my wife and child. They were okay. They were roommates. Okay. We’re like holding hands and stuff. Like, it’s fine. It’s fine. They’re just best friends. Best friends hold hands for comfort all the time. I don’t know. Yeah, you guys are making out, like, in a best friend way. In a best friend. But it was really gross. It was, like, maybe a group of ten of them, and they were all, like, really slimy. Scazy. Stranger danger. It is. If I was alone, I would feel scared for my safety. I feel like a lot of the times sometimes there are massive drug drinking parties that are happening and a paranormal convention breaks out. Do you know what I mean? People are like, this is my moment to just let loose on everything, and it can get really creepy. Yeah. And we even really have a problem with pagan fest on here because since we’re in the south, we have, like, a bunch of neonazis and stuff like that showing up in Viking Garb and stuff. And that’s these guys. You could tell that they were those type of dudes, right? You’re not my type. Like, I hate everything you stand for. Stop hitting on me. I’m not going anywhere with any of you. Leave me alone. Yeah, but whatever. Okay. Ten of your turn. Robin, that’s never happened to you? Something you have to think yeah, that’s never happened to me. I don’t get hit on. I do not get hit on in a very genuine way. Wait, so am I supposed to think of things that haven’t happened to me that might have happened to you? Yeah. Or you can think of something that has happened to you that maybe has happened to us, too. It’s just you’ll have to drink, too. Yeah, it just means you’ll have to drink as well. I want everyone to drink. I want everyone to be happy. I’m very happy. Thank you. Never have I ever had to call the police on someone who was obsessed with me.
Participant #1:
Not just the police, but the FBI, motherfuckers. I have people I should have. Yes. You’ve never called a call from somebody who’s been obsessive over you? No. I got a train when I was younger, so I was like, you’re conditioned as a teenage girl to be like, this is normal, right? Okay. All right, ramen go. So I’ve got a few of these situations, but I will share the funniest one. And it is my best friend was not dating, but she went on a few dates with a guy. Didn’t work out. You know, you go on a couple of dates, you’re, like, not feeling it, and discussion. Right. This guy was like, nowhere. Soul mates. He would not stop reaching out to all of us because we all live together. He wouldn’t stop reaching out to every single one of us. I still have his unopened Facebook message request because it’s so funny to me to this day that I refuse to get rid of it. Even though I have a restraining order against this guy, I refuse to get rid of it because it’s just so funny to me. And sometimes when I’m feeling sad, I’ll open it back up just to be reminded of that psychotic moment in my life. He would send letters to our house, and he would call all of us on Facebook messenger. And this is like before you could block a phone number on smartphones. And I will never forget this. He said, Ash and I are soulmates. We shared a toothbrush. And Ash was like, he used my toothbrush.
Participant #1:
He bought it all so bad that all of us had to get, like, respective restraining orders against the guy. Yeah, it was crazy. Did you drink, Penny? I did. I did a lecture at the public library in my home town, and then I came home after it was done to public library. So my lecture was, like, at 08:00, and then I think, like, 930. I got home, changed clothes, and went out for the night because it was a Friday and went to the bar, hung out the bar until bar close to 30 in the morning. Came home and there was a woman sitting on my front porch. And I walked off and I was like, hello. And she was like, oh, Mr. Kenny, I was at your lecture tonight. And after you were done, I followed you home. And then I saw you leave. I have more stories I want to tell you. And so I’ve been waiting for you. She’s been sitting there for 5 hours on my front porch, completely normal and the right state of mind. This is my home. You can’t be here. And a switch flipped immediately. Like 03:00 in the morning, she starts screaming from my front porch. She’s like, you fucking asshole. Do you know how long I’ve stayed here? I want to talk to you. Excuse me. And I was like, I have to call you. Call the police, you fucking moron. And so I called the police and they took her away and they brought someone to take her car. Oh, my god. People have just this insane like, I know when it comes to social media, we call it parasocial relationships, right? But people truly have just a very bizarre understanding of how to act appropriately when they perceive somebody as famous, regardless of that level. You know what I mean? Because fame is subjective. So regardless of the level of fame that somebody has, if they perceive them as famous, it’s like all bets are off. I had a gentleman show up. I was sitting at home one day. It was a normal Tuesday, Wednesday afternoon, and a knock on my door, which is uncommon. No one comes to my door. So I went to the door thinking it was just a solicitor for something passing something out or wanting to know if I needed new windows or a roof or something. I opened the door and there’s a guy there and he’s like, Hey, John. And I’m like, hello. And he was like, I met you at this event two years earlier in California. And he’s like, and I was in Detroit for a business meeting. So you know those websites where you can pay like $60 and find out where people live? And I knew you lived here. Yeah. He’s like, so I paid the $60 and got your address. Do you want to go out to dinner?
Participant #1:
But I just remembered that I want to do literally fucking anything else. Thank you so much, though. This has been real. And he was like, well, I’m going to be in town for three or four days, so here’s my phone number. Can I get your phone number on floor? I don’t usually wake up until two in the afternoon. And this is like 10:00 in the morning. And I was like, what is happening right now? I’m usually asleep right now. Is this a dream? So fucking weird, dude. I know that we all know this because especially the circles that we run in are exceptionally interesting corners of the universe, but people are fucking weird. They never cease to amaze me. I had a woman one time send me a half drink bottle of liquor. She was like, I drank half of this. I want you to drink the other half. And also in that for sure, if you will notice, in this Ziploc bag, in this package is a T shirt that I wore and sweat in. So you can smell me while you drink the liquor. No, listen, I never want that to happen to me, ever. If that happens to me.
Participant #1:
No, there’s so many circumstances. I should have called the cops, but I didn’t. Really. I am very pro. Like, if I’m uncomfortable, I will warn you once, and then that’s the end of the conversation. Especially when it comes to any situation where I feel like my physical safety is in danger. I will just call the police. I’ll warn you, I never would call somebody unsolicited without at least a boundary set first. So I’ll set a boundary with you, and if you choose to absolutely ignore that, I’m calling nine one, and I’m not going to feel guilty about it. Mike, it is your term right now for the next one. Yeah, okay.
Participant #1:
Never have I ever had an oh, shit moment with a spell candle. With a candle spell.
Participant #1:
All right, cool. You guys never exploded a seven day candle before with oil in it, and then that oil gets on your things, and then you can’t put it out, and then it’s really scary.
Participant #1:
I know that we always stand here, don’t burn your houses down, witches. And that’s because I have almost burned my house down before. You’re literally in a tin can. I mean, it’s true. You’re in a vessel for fire. Mistakes are made a long way.
Participant #1:
Listen, I poked all my little holes in my seven day, and I was like, oh, don’t drown this candle and oil, Robin. Poke your holes. The problem was I was given the oil by somebody else, and I didn’t know that it was pure, like ethanol and essential oils. I thought when they said they gave me an oil, I assume it’s got carrier oils in it. Not that it is pure fucking alcohol based with essential oils in it. Don’t call it an oil just because it has an essential oil. That’s not an actual oil. Anyway. So I’m like, normal dousing of this shit. The whole goddamn candle goes,
Participant #1:
that’s probably not good. As we sat there watching this and thinking, I should probably get, like, a wet towel or something to put over this, the glass breaks because it’s so fucking hot, and the oil just, like, pours out the sides. Everything’s on fire. Everything is on fire. And I’m like, Fine. Food safety, right? An oil fire. You don’t want to throw water on it because then it goes, I need to get a wet towel. And I’m like getting a wet towel and putting on it. My husband walks in the room and goes, what smells like burnt hair?
Participant #1:
If you think something is going awry, you’re actually incorrect because it’s going very good. It’s never been better, actually. It’s under control. That’s chaos magic. That was chaos. All right.
Participant #1:
Sounds like that spell went really well and whatever you want and nothing went wrong, and that’s exactly how it should have gone. And I think, actually, that these simple protection spell I was doing. I was so safe. I’ve never paid for my life. Actually, this will be easy breezy. And then I’m sat there going, oh, my God, there’s glass and fire everywhere. What do I do? It was not good. Not good. Not good, guys. I did have to throw out my entire, like I had, like, a wooden altar slab, right? I had to throw the whole thing out because it was, like, completely fucked.
Participant #1:
Okay, Robin. My next one then is, never have I ever seen somebody in a room and thought they were there, but they were actually a ghost. All right, everybody’s drink. So, Maria, you go first. Okay, this is actually about an animal. So literally, my dogs had just passed away. Like, we were just literally talking about this. And they used to lay on my bed at night. Oh, no. It had been, like, 01:00 in the morning. I think I said this on the podcast, like, a long time ago in one of our ghost episodes, but I had woken up and there was two balls of light on the bed. But, like, my dogs were maltesa. So they were, like, white? No, they were shizoos. Sorry. I was like, they’re just blank.
Participant #1:
Look, I am like a whole almost wine bottled and we’re fine. I don’t know.
Participant #1:
They used to lay at the end of my bed and I was like, Oh, you know, they’re at the end of my bed. I feel safe. And I was like, Oh, wait, no, this isn’t right. And they, like, jumped off of my bed. The balls of light jumped off of my bed and went up the stairs. And that was, like, the last time I ever saw them. But for a moment, I thought they were just laying next to me like they used to sweet. They’re always there, right? Yeah. When I was in a house, that was like, oh, no, now I’m like, there’s no going back to the house. And it makes me sad. I did a library lecture years ago. I talk about this in my lectures sometimes. I don’t ever talk about religion at my lectures because it’s such a touchy subject for everybody. And there was this girl who was probably eleven to 13 years old, and at the end, I was doing a Q and A, and I said, that we have any questions? She raised her hand and her dad was saying, like, sitting next to her, like, don’t call on her. But I love kids. Like, they’re great ways into magic, right? And I said, what’s your question? And she said to me is my dog who died last week in heaven. I didn’t know how to approach it because it gets into religion and spirituality. But as a person who plays music and paints and draws, there are these inspired moments that we have when I say this, it will not be as good as it was in the moment. But there was this inspired moment where I kind of got down in front of her and I looked in her eyes and I said, I don’t know if there’s a heaven, but if there is, then it’s populated by the delicateness of insects and the songs of birds and the friendliness of cats and the warmth of dogs. And if they’re not there, then it’s not heaven. And then I stood up and I was like, Oh, fuck. Where did that come from?
Participant #1:
Sweet Penny, you’re going to out yourself as a nice guy.
Participant #1:
For me, that apartment that I talked about earlier where I had all the roommates, we had a balcony on my bedroom. And I lived on the 27th floor of what was affectionately known as Crystal Tower in San Francisco about a block from the City Hall. And if you’ve ever been to San Francisco, you know that is the Tenderloin. That is where I’m from. And anybody who has a problem with the Tenderloin can actually catch his hands. Anyway, Christmas power has a curse on it if you look it up. It’s called the Fox Plaza Theater. That’s where I lived for years. It has a curse on it. And Crystal Tower got its name because nobody would live there because of the curse. And the city made a deal, basically, with the Fox Plaza Apartments to take in people that were on Section Eight. Even though it wasn’t a Section Eight apartment, it wasn’t a building designated for that. And they would make these deals, and you’d get people in there that unfortunately, had problems with substance abuse and thus Crystal Tower. Anyway, we had this guy who was our neighbor. He lived, like, three or four apartments down, and he was not well. He was not a well man. And he would leave little notes on his door all the time that’d be like, Fuck you in 27 eight. I know that you stole my cheese, or something like that. And you’d be like
Participant #1:
that. He just wasn’t living in a state of reality. He was not well. He was a very humble man. And it was like 200 in the morning one night. And I wake up in the middle of the night and I see them on my balcony. And mind you, there’s no way this man could have gotten on my balcony because that’s not how the if you look the building up every balcony is completely, like, segregated from every other apartment. There’s no possible way to get in. But 02:00 a.m. Half Awake robin doesn’t process that. And I’m like, Oh, my God, 20 713, or whatever his number was, is on my balcony. What the fuck? He had jumped off his balcony and unfortunately, obviously didn’t survive. 27 floors is a long way to go. And he was on my balcony and then he was gone. It was literally like just this brief little moment in time that he was there. And I just saw him and I woke up and I got a bunch of texts from my roommate who couldn’t get into the building because he had jumped and the police were there and blocked off the entrance and all that. And it was crazy. It was the most surreal moment for me because it was irrational thought that he would even be there. Do you know what I’m saying? Yeah. Because there’s literally no possible way this man could have gotten to my apartment balcony, and yet I was like, oh my God, how is he here? Like, he’s on my balcony. And then he was gone. And then he was dead. It was the craziest scenario in my life. Isn’t that wild? That is wild, him being there. It felt like ten minutes, but it was probably about half a minute. Not even that. It was probably like, seconds. Moment with spirit seems like it feels way longer when it’s not. It’s really not, because it was truly in a state where I was not fully conscious and awake yet. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Because that was the only reason I even considered him being actually, like, possible to have gotten to the balcony. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. No, Maria, I think you’re right too. Like, I think that one of the things that people discount a lot of the times is that with spirits, they’re not biologically tethered to our chronology. And so when we interact with them, our sense of time gets mixed up too, so mixed up? Yeah. I’m seeing this thing that’s happening for 30 seconds or 10 seconds, but it seems like it’s an hour or it seems like 15 minutes. It sounds like it was probably close to ten to 15 minutes, but in actual play out, we’re looking at less than 30 seconds. I even think in places of ritual or anything that deals with Limeral spaces, like, time just stretches. That’s why when we do rituals and stuff like that, like time ritual for five minutes, it’s like, no, you do it for an hour. It’s like, great. I mean, it’s now like 10:00. I need to go to bed before about when we talk about liminal spaces. So for as grumpy and old man as I am, like, I tell a lot of dad jokes and I try and be like I think I’m kind of humorous sometimes and say funny things. You’re very funny. Yes, but I feel like humor is a limited space because the beginning of the joke is told and then there’s a limit space where anything can happen after the beginning of the joke. Right. Knock, knock is a perfect example. Like, Knock, knock, anything can happen after you say, who is there? Yeah. And so in your brain, even when that joke happens in 10 seconds, it seems like there’s an infinity of time before the person says, like, orange. Right. There’s this weird moment with humor and liminal spaces because anything is possible in that limit space. It’s crazy. Yeah. All right. A lot of conversations happening while we’re last never have I ever is. Oh, no, I have one more after ten years when someone wasn’t there. What I’m supposed to talk about? When someone wasn’t there? Yeah. Ten years.
Participant #1:
Anyway, I was at the Stanley Hotel and I was hosting a ghost hunting hotel. And at major events, like, you break people up into groups of 15 or 20, and they all cycle through the place and whatever. We all have 45 minutes to investigate. It’s nonsense, but people get happy with it. Whatever. But we were sitting in this room at the Stanley Hotel and it was dark, the no lights on, illuminated by moonlight only. And I said, before we talk to the ghost, we should introduce ourselves. So I’m John and I’m from Michigan. And we went around the room and you could see everybody’s silhouette. And there was a woman who said that she was from, I think, Minnesota. And then the woman next to her, the silhouette next to her didn’t say anything. And then the woman next to her said, I’m from Wisconsin. And I was like, well, not everybody likes to talk in public, and not everybody likes to it’s fine that that woman didn’t say anything when the lights turned on. There were these two women, the woman from Minnesota and Wisconsin, and there was no one in between them. There was a human space in between them, and the whole fucking room freaked out. And it was like someone came in here as part of our group that wasn’t actually here, and it’s so rare. What was? That they wanted a tour. Yeah, they wanted to be a part of what we were doing. And it’s so crazy that even to this day, I feel to myself, like, I’m not sure when I’m talking to people who’s there and who just wants to be there. It’s so funny when stuff like that happens on ghost tours, because even my dad, who is, like, an extreme skeptic, he went on a tour of the oh, my gosh. That one house that’s, like, below San Francisco. What’s that one with the crazy like, all the different types of don’t ever disrespect the windshield. No, they were, like, in the basement. And my dad saw someone who had, like, a wheelbarrow and was scooping stuff into it. And he spoke to the guy and was like, do you not see that dude who’s working? Why is he working on this house? And the tour guy was like, I don’t see anybody. And I think my dad had this whole moment where he’s like, do go sixes.
Participant #1:
Jessica got his free passes to see the Winchester movie one time. And we watched the movie and it was terrible. It was horrible
Participant #1:
because I’m from the Bay Area. I grew up going to the Winchester Mystery House. I probably gone like a dozen times. And it was something my dad and I always like doing together. And when the movie came out, my dad’s like, I want to take you to go see the movie. And I was like, oh, dad’s daughter moment. Yeah, I’ll go. And he loved it. And he was like, oh my God, it was so good. And I was like, it was a nice experience to go with him, but it was I’ve never been maybe it would be a totally different experience, but because I’ve been so many times I was like, well that’s not exactly how this happened, is it was so funny because after the movie was over, like, there were like twelve people there for the advanced screening. Like, nobody went to see it. And Jessica was like, hey everybody. She stood up in the movie theater and she was like, hey everybody. Kenny is a ghost hunter who’s done it for Winchester Mystery House and he will tell you how terrible it really is. Me and the crowd talk for longer than the movie. That is I would rather hear straight up stuff. Like, that’s really interesting to me.
Participant #1:
Sorry. Do I have to think about it? Think of it? Never have I ever maria has one and then we’ll be done. I have to I’m saving this one. I’ve been saving this one. This one is highlighted everything. Would you rather yeah, okay. Would you rather be
Participant #1:
a robot that is head on top of a waist with legs?
Participant #1:
You know what, I got an answer for this. I would rather be a robot with head and arms. Wait, what your answer? Okay. I would rather be a robot with head and arms. Because at least that I could probably do a balancing act where I got one arm that’s still functioning. But if I was like a torso with legs, like feet can only do so much, you know what I’m saying? Like, yes, I know people do function with just feet, but if I had the choice between hands or feet, I’m going hands every time with hands, like, you’re going to get super tired walking to places. I’m going to get fucking jack is what you’re saying. I’m going to have huge fucking biceps,
Participant #1:
actually, that you’re like so weak. And I’m over here just with arms and super strong. There we go. See, I would rather have legs, probably, because the whole fact moves, traveling, going places. I would rather run out to people and be like, do you want to know this fact?
Participant #1:
Because I’m a fucking Boris girl. So no, I’m just one of those really involved tour guides, okay? I’m a robot. I’m going to be a tour guide, and I’m going to run up to people
Participant #1:
with, like, these big balls. Look at my arms. I’m walking around like this. Why? Didn’t remind me of that on Toy Story? Like, the big baby head with the, like, spider legs? Yeah. That is, like, gold right there. In this situation. That’s Robin in her liminal space. Why would you have legs? So I could go places and do things. Exactly. You guys are so lame. You both sound very weak. Okay,
Participant #1:
that’s me. The other thing, too, is if I have legs, that probably means I have a waist. And so, like, at some point, I mean, human beings are sexual creatures.
Participant #1:
Do you get off? Have you considered that? Remember that one movie with Robin Williams where he was a robot?
Participant #1:
He was nine years old the first time I saw that movie. No, I must have been old in that. I was, like, ten or eleven. But I saw movie the first time, and I was ruined. I was like, this has ruined my perception of life and reality and, like, those movies. Because he also did that one movie, like, where he went to heaven, and he has his own heaven as save his wife from hell. What Dreams May Come. Yeah, you better be prepared with tissues. I employ people to read Richard Mathison books. If they have never read them, it’s crazy, because What Dreams May Come, written by Richard Mathison, is also richard Matheson also wrote the crazy Will Smith movie I Am Legend. That was a good movie, too. So much better. Richard Mathison is, like, the greatest writer. I will look it up. All right, Em, what’s your last never have I ever never have I ever poured nail polish all over a photo and said, on fire for a Hex. Fuck you, dude. Wait. I stopped drinking solely because I haven’t done that. I really want to finish this bottle of wine. Do it. Everybody knows the story if they’re an avid listener of the podcast. I was, like, 13 years old. My school yard best friend, she started talking to the guy, like which is really fucked up of her. Christina, if you’re listening to this, I’m not over it. And I took her photo because this is back. So when film photography was a thing, so I had photos of my friends, I took her photo, I covered it in nail polish very carefully, painted it clear varnish, painted it in nail polish, and then I lit it on fire. And I was like, never again will you see the likes of a guy or something like that. I did a little smell like I’m on the Internet. Anyway, she’s a lesbian now. And I’m not saying that it’s because I covered her nail polish and said she was never going to do with the man again, but she does track.
Participant #1:
You ever heck somebody with nail polish? You fucking told you. We might have one more because I forgot we had one follower, like, one. I think we had another one, but it got lost. On Instagram. Yes, it’s on Instagram. 1 second. I don’t have any more wine. I actually did a video with knowing you’re going to have to pretend you drink spirit wine. Just we answered this one. This one we’ve already done. It was burn something burn up. And that was fully my story of lighting my entire bus on fire. Yeah, there was one more by someone in our discord, and we lost it because it was in our stories. Yeah, it was Aaron. I’m so sorry, aaron’s fault. Are you going to take accountability for this one?
Participant #1:
Never mind the fact that the part two of that one episode uploaded wrong. That was also not my fault. That was God’s mistake. Wait, some people said that they listened the part, too, because it wasn’t my fault. It was God’s mistake. Yeah, all of them.
Participant #1:
What are you doing? Yahweh is living their best life. Okay. Oh, my gosh. All right, we should probably end this segment now. Okay,
Participant #1:
so, Tenny, what is stirring your cauldron right now?
Participant #1:
I’m so surprised I didn’t laugh because, as I said, stirring my cauldron. Actually, on Instagram, there’s an artist named Todd Purse who does all of these really cool, like, self published comics about goblins and consciousness and the cosmos and our relationship to it. And it’s just the cutest stuff you’ve ever seen. And his website is createmagicstudios.com and just put out a full, like, self published zine of all these little comics of consciousness and goblins and creatures and bigfoot and UFOs, and it’s the cutest stuff I’ve ever seen. What was that? You’re going to have to link me that. You’re going to have to send me the link. I got a copy for me and a copy for Jess, and it came with so much cute stuff. That’s the other thing, too. Like, when I buy stuff from self creators, like, all of a sudden you get BOOKMARKS and posters and all this other stuff that they’ve just been, like their hearts been exploding to get out to the public. I love that. That’s what stirring me. It’s stirring you. Stirring you.
Participant #1:
So, Tommy, what’s not stirring during your caldron this week? Not stirring my caldron this week is people who I have no idea. I know that we live in the social media world and everything, and everybody is saying there whatever, but when people comment, like, who I’m not following on social media posts, and they’re not following me, and then they comment on my post, and then I comment back, and then they yell at me for complaining makes me so fucking mad. I get so upset because I’m like, Motherfucker, we wouldn’t be talking if you didn’t interject your fucking stupid fucking opinion. It’s maddening. How dare you respond back to them after they responded to you? Yeah,
Participant #1:
come in with some shit comments, and then I respond to you, and they’re like, well, you put it on the fucking Internet. Like, get out of here. It’s the worst. I like when you comment, you post something, and for all of your followers, it’s obviously a joke because they like, know your sense of humor or whatever. And then some fucking person who doesn’t know you is like, well, actually and it’s like, shut the fuck up. Who are you? I hate the well, actually, that’s so aggravating. The other thing that drives me crazy about those people, too, is because if someone comments, like, some shitty thing on one of my posts, right, I literally take 20 to 25 seconds to click on their profile, quickly scroll through their timeline, see what a garbage person they are, and then my response to them will be about how they’re a garbage person, because I just saw on their timeline. And then they’re like, how to quickly
Participant #1:
wasted the time. I wasted 30 fucking seconds to see your garbage person. They want to look at your stuff, too. So I don’t understand. I don’t think they do. I think they see stuff and they’re so reactionary. They’re like, you get appointed so many things, though. I know you both know who I’m talking about when I say this, but you have the people who will see something and think it’s about them and then get so angry, and you’re like, you need to relax to breathe. You go have, like, a vodka tonic or something. Chill out. You’re at a ten. I have made comments on Twitter before, literally about people in my neighborhood. And then people DM me, and they’re like, what’s wrong with me? And I’m like, this is about Roger.
Participant #1:
The people that genuinely think that just random tweets are about them have got serious main character energy. They need therapy. They really need therapy because it’s psychotic. The bigger I’ve gotten on social media, the quicker I’ve learned that everyone thinks I’m talking about them. And my ass is like, I was watching Zack Baggins on the TV, and he was yelling at ghosts, and that was kind of me. And people would be like, why are you talking about me like that? I’m like, Are you Zack Baggins?
Participant #1:
That’s what stirs me the wrong way.
Participant #1:
The wrong way, right? Like, it makes everybody absolutely insane. Justin I have this conversation all the time, so I am really only, like, a grumpy old man in the way that I use the Internet. So I record all my podcasts through my laptop. I only use Twitter when I’m on my laptop. I very often don’t know where my phone is at. My phone runs out of battery charge all the time. Like, I don’t plug it in. I don’t take it with me when I go on walks. And people, the majority of people online right now just aren’t in that headspace that I’m in. If someone tweets to me on Twitter and then I don’t get back to them in 3 hours, they take it as an insult. Not realizing that for me, I have to sit in front of my computer, turn my computer on, log into Twitter and use the Twitter desktop application to respond to them. I’m not scrolling through my phone all the time. Yeah, I stay away from my phone and I get the same stuff where people get so upset. Has some form of a persona on the internet, right? It doesn’t matter what form it is, but everybody who has some form of persona on the Internet, I think it’s a universal experience that we all do not enjoy social media and do not actually spend much time on it. Like Twitter as a great example. I show up, I just fart onto Twitter and then I leave. Like, I don’t browse Twitter. I don’t browse Instagram. I sincerely do not enjoy these things. What you’re saying is that you cropped us Twitter and then you meet I literally show up and I’m like, I shouldn’t have put online. You’re welcome everybody. I will not proofread this. And if you point it out, you’re a piece of shit. Thank you.
Participant #1:
Correct when I wrote Guadalupe out on a tweet. And the problem is I spelled Guadalupe wrong one time. So autocorrect just now changes it to the incorrect spelling, right? Every fucking time. And I don’t notice. And they were like, actually it’s spelled but Guadalupe. And I’m like, I will kill myself. And I deleted the tweet and I was just like, I’m done. Goodbye, Internet. I have another.
Participant #1:
I wonder though, have you ever had so this used to happen to me a lot. I am born and raised and lived in the same town that I was born and raised in. Obviously because of the pandemic and coping stuff, I don’t go out as much anymore. But this used to happen a lot where I would be at the bar and someone would start telling me a story and they would be telling it incorrectly. And I knew that because it was my story. And I would be like, no, that’s not what happened. They’d be like, how do you know? And I’d be like, Because you’re telling my story. What?
Participant #1:
Listen, that’s bananas. Listen. Especially with social media. I’ll say a fart on the Internet, or I’ll say in passing, and then some douchebag will make it into content on three other platforms. And I’m like, pretty sure that’s my story. But go off king. And then they’re offended that they get caught. Oh, yeah, it’s crazy. They go, that’s not what I meant. And I’m like, what did you mean then? No, mine was this really that feels like a hyper specific story that happens to me, but okay.
Participant #1:
I love the Internet.
Participant #1:
If you have just joined us, this episode, every episode, we talk about creators and artists that we are loving right now. These are organically found, so stop emailing us. Stop it. It’s rude. It’s weird. It makes me and Maria feel uncomfortable. And we both kind of make fun of you behind your back. I’m sorry. It’s true. We do. We keep saying it every time. Stop it. That being said, Maria, who are you digging right now? So I am loving this creator called Pretty Effing Spooky on Instagram and TikTok. She does paranormal investigating, and I just really love all her content. Like, she records all these limitable spaces and shares it with everybody. And all of her stories are so interesting. And she actually has, I think, a movie coming out or a documentary type movie, and I’m really excited about seeing it and stuff. So I’ll
Participant #1:
look it up. Teddy, who are you loving right now? Didn’t I do who’s like, a stirring my potential? You got a creator that you’re loving right now, too, so pick somebody. Go. You’re on the spot. You know what? I just been watched Tyler Henry’s Netflix show. Do you know who Tyler Henry is? No, I don’t. At least what’s it called? What is it? It’s called Life After Death. And I just binch watched all nine episodes, and it’s really good. It is really good. I will say, however, that because I’ve watched almost all of it I’m saying this specifically to Maria. Do not watch the second part of the medium episode because it will fuck you up. It made me cry so hard. Like, it was so sad. Everybody there was, like, a parent of a dead child. Maybe it’s because I’m too soon postpartum, but it messed me up. I was like, I got to turn this shit off for a while. When he did his random walk up reading of the guy who works at the charity that Tyler works at, I was destroyed. Now I’m going to have to watch this. Yes, please. That sounds really good. So do you love Robin? Who I am loving right now is Copper Wild Pottery. And the only reason that this account even came up into my spectrum, if you will, is they’re doing these really cute little herb pots that are like it’s like a pot on its side with little feet on it, and it has, like, a big cork thing. And they say it’s for herbs. We all know it’s for the devil’s lettuce. I am not a partaker of Reefer Madness, but I do think they are really cute. And I was like, I wish I smoked weed because I would buy one in a heartbeat. You just send me that because that sounds amazing. I might not partake. Might not. We’ll see 100% for a legal drug smoker. You are a reefer madness. She’s a devil lettuce eater. It’s ridiculous. Not like me, because I’m a God fearing woman and I do not hear the woman. I haven’t smoked pot since I was 18. I have not smoked pot since I was four because I smoked too much pot in college. Maria and I were talking about this before we start recording. I smoked too much pot in college. And now it doesn’t matter what strain I smoke. It gives me really bad anxiety, so I just don’t touch it. The last time I smoked a lot, I went into a room because I had smoked too much and I had gotten way too high. And I put on a kung fu movie, and this guy rode up on a horse and he had his sword drawn, and another guy ran up with his sword, and they were about to fight, and then they did this stand off, which seemed like it lasted for hours. And I started thinking to myself like, this director is taking the biggest chance by having this. And my friend Josh walked into the room and at some point I had put the video tape on pause, and I was just watching a static screen. Okay, wait, you’re going to hear this, obviously, because he edits our podcast one time. The last time he ever smoked weed, which was only like the third time he had ever smoked weed in his life, he got way too high. He was watching Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen. It was like three in the morning on mute. He was watching it on mute. He was guessing what Gordon Ramsay said, then rewinding it and being like, Nice. I knew that. I knew that’s what he said. Wake my ass up. It’s like three in the morning. He goes, Check this out. He goes, Pick an episode, any episode. And I’m like, Okay. So I pick an episode and he’s like,
Participant #1:
check that out. Am I fucking crazy good at this or what? I’m like you.
Participant #1:
Which is a shame because he’s quite funny.
Participant #1:
Very off topic for the creator section, but that’s okay.
Participant #1:
Thank you all for joining us today on this special episode. We hope that we will see you again on Friday, April 1, for our 6th episode of season three, and you will catch us, hopefully, on the in between for our Coffee Talk episodes. You can keep an eye out on Instagram or on Twitter. You can follow us there at coffeeandcultrons for more information. Or you can go to coffeeandcldrens.com to find all of our social media. Or even better, you can join us on our discordier, which is First Covenant on Patreon, so we can answer your questions next time. If you’re loving coffee and cauldrons, please take a moment to review us on Apple podcast or even now on Spotify.
Participant #1:
No, we didn’t. Sexy Central. Beautiful, perfect voices for an additional 30 minutes episode for being in the casting. Cheer and up. So again, this is Drunk coffee and Cauldron with Robin from Ada Tired Witch on Instagram. And I’m Maria from at Maria’s Arcane on Instagram. I’m John El Tenney, and I’m on Twitter and Instagram. That was so sexy. Ten out of ten. We’re not doing a countdown this episode, guys. I know. We’re doing the countdown. Let’s do it. Let’s.