Participant #1:
Hello. Welcome to Coffee Talk with Maria and Robin of Coffee and Coulter. You’re making this very horny introduction. Look, I want my radio station, okay? I want to be a late night, like, radio station host. I have to get it in where I can. I love it. Oh, goodness. This week, our conversation is about Hexing wrong. Oh, my goodness. You guys did not see our Instagram post. We are doing themes every month, right? So last month Ghost this month is Hexagon. And we asked you guys to send us your stories on Hexes that went wrong that you did or that were funny. Just any entertaining stories that were around Hexing. We got a handful of really good ones that we’re excited to read. But we thought to start off this time because last month we told ghost stories on the main pod. We are not going to be doing that, I don’t think, for Hexing this month. Maybe we are. I don’t know. I don’t know. We’ll see. We thought, though, that we could start by telling our own funny Hexing stories, and then we’re going to read some of yours. Okay? I think you should go first. Okay. I’m going to mute myself because I’m just going to laugh. I told this story before, but I thought it’s been at least a year since we’ve told this story. At least I think so we thought we’d just reiterated for people who hadn’t heard of before or maybe forgot, okay, because it is classically. Me,
Participant #1:
I was in witchcraft since I was a teenager, and like any teenager, I did irrational Hexing that just came out of nowhere. Listen, I need you to come back in time with me, okay? It’s like 2003, okay? The Internet is a very different place. Resources for getting books were very different, all right? There was this boy in school that I was obsessed with at the time. I thought I was in love with him. Him and I had probably exchanged, like, two sentences, okay? I wasn’t in love with him. I was, like, 14, okay? But I thought I was in love with him. And I’m pretty sure we were dating, okay, you haven’t seen it, but I’m using air quotes here. Pretty sure we were dating. It did last a whole week and a half, so I’m not trying to brag, but that’s pretty serious. It was pretty serious. And my best friend at the time, we’re going to call her Jane, okay, for the purposes of this, because I don’t know if she listens to my body. She might. So if you’re listening to this and you think it’s about you, it might be. So Jane, she like, talk to him or held hands with him. I don’t even remember exactly what she did, but she crossed me, okay? She thought she was going to take my man, and I was not having that. So I did what any rational 14 year old witch would do. And I went onto the nearest Angel Fire website I could find. The background was neon green with neon red text that was in papyrus font. Okay? So it was very 2003. I’m pretty sure there was, like, lightning graphics all over it. It was a lot. And it told me how to curse her. And again, I was 14, okay? So I had to improvise for a lot of it. So I got a picture of her because it was 2003. We had real photos still. Smartphones did not exist. And I had a printed photo of her because she’s my best friend. I had a frame, okay? This is how psychotic I was. I sent the photo. It told me to put this, like, oil on it. I don’t remember what the oil was, so I didn’t have any because again, 14. So I took clear nail polish. I painted the photo with clear nail polish, and I was like, I am sealing her in. And then I pretty much like, fuck you, James. Fuck you, Jane. And then lift the photo on fire in, like, a little corny wear dish that my parents had. Maybe it was Pyrex, I don’t know, in my bedroom. And I was like, fuck you, Janet. Steal my man. Needless to say, nothing bad happened to her in any capacity. But my fire alarm did go off in my bedroom. And my dad was like, the fuck are you burning? And I was like, don’t worry about it, dad. And he was like, I absolutely am going to worry about it. You are 14 years old. What the fuck are you burning? And I was grounded for three weeks. So really, I don’t think the curse backfired, but I do think that I was a dumb fucking kid who did not think through anything. You’re burning, like no polish and like, a photo,
Participant #1:
and I doubt you had a window open, so you’re like breathing in all these 90s still. And it literally set off like, three fire alarms. And my dad was like, the fuck are you doing? And I was like, I’m doing some really serious business here, dad. If you could mind your business. And he was like, no, this is a fire hazard. I will not mind my business. You’re grounded. And I was like, parents will never understand. This is the love of my life, literally. And fun fact, that person that I was obsessed with, who my husband still brings up because I’ve told a new story, is not doing so well in the mental state of things in modern days. And I actually feel really bad for him now. He’s really not doing very well. And I just think about that a lot. Maybe my obsession with him pushed him over the edge because I was obsessed. I was obsessed with him in an unhealthy way as a young child, from like age twelve to 14. And now he’s not being done. I feel really bad about it. Andrew, if you’re listening, I hope that you get the help that you need bestie. I really do. I mean that. Robin wants to be obsessed with you. Oh, I definitely do. Not very happy in my marriage, in my life. I’m not trying to invite any of that in. Absolutely not. It’s just like a fun anecdote of teenage okay. No, I hope he gets his help, but far away from myself. Thank you. You can help over there, buddy. I’m doing real good over here.
Participant #1:
Anyway. How about you? What’s your fun hacking story? Okay, so this was kind of before I officially was like, I am a witch. I was already doing, like, spellwork type stuff, but didn’t realize that I was doing spellwork. So whenever I would get enough fight with my parents, I would write out on a piece of paper about how I wanted them to see to see my side of things. And this is really, like, Hexing, but it’s more like a mere spell that I did via writing spell. But my dad, within ten minutes, would always come downstairs and apologize if I did that. And it was funny at the time because I was like, oh, my God, I am so powerful. I can do anything.
Participant #1:
I don’t really have that many Hexing things that have gone wrong. What I’m trying to say, and just call it out as it is, you were a normal teenager who did normal teenage things. And me, the absolute fucking malgoth that I was, was pictures up. Oh, fuck safe. That was such a huge introvert. So anything I was doing, like, spells for, like, I was angry about, like, I would just do it towards my parents and then be like, ha ha. See, listen to me. But no, that’s all I got to do. That shit to you guys. Hate to see it. Look, I think they think that I listen too much, so I’m always like, how are you? How are you doing? Tell me your feelings. And they’re like, Really? I am sitting here, and I’m trying to eat my macaroni and cheese. Just leave me alone. Macaroni sounds so good right now. Oh, my goodness. All right, let’s read these stories. I’m going to start from the bottom and then read up. Okay, so that’s what I’m going to do. You don’t have to go on that order, but I’m just telling you. Our first one comes from Jessica, by the way. If you are listening to this, and you’re like, where did these stories get submitted? We now have a submissions email, which is submissions@coffeeandcouldrons.com. So if you want to submit your stories this time or in the future, that is how you do it. I don’t know if we announced that anywhere other than social media, so just putting a pin on that. So our first story comes from Jessica. It says, hey, I saw your post about Hexing, and I have a good one. But it wasn’t me doing the hexing. I once got a text from a police marshal friend of mine asking about the ingredients involved in the hex and what those ingredients meant. You see, I’m a very open witch in a very small town. The ingredients were cows tongue, red thread pins, a lime, and an article of someone’s clothing. We all know where this is going. I let him know it was textbook tongue binding spell. And while it was out of my wheelhouse I’m a Celtic pagan. I was aware of his purpose and I let him know everything that I knew. The next time I saw him in person, I bucketed up the courage, or bucked up the courage and asked him about it. It turns out that they had gotten a report of somebody burning something on a site that local land developers frequent. And when the police arrived on site, they found the tongue partially burned and didn’t know what it was. He knew something witchy and asked about it. Since he knew that I am well researched into the occult, seems like someone in our small town wanted to hex the developers, buying up and clearing the land in the area for commercial properties. I never thought that I would be using my witchy knowledge to inform the police, but here we are. In any case, no one was hurt and nothing came out. It just became a case of illegal dumping and I don’t know if any charges were filed. I can’t help but wonder what and who the practitioner was wanting to silence. Love that. I have a friend who one time was getting all those ingredients at a store and the register clerk looked her dead in the eyes and goes, fuck them up, SIS.
Participant #1:
Isn’t that so funny? She was just like,
Participant #1:
Oh my gosh, that’s so funny. All right, ready for the next one? Yes, I am. Okay, this one’s from Daniella. And here is my failed hexing story. My first hex went really wrong. I was 15 and a girl in my class was being the worst, up everyone against me. So I hexed her. Just a very simple hext with her name on a piece of paper. I burned the paper, then through the ashes in the paper bin. Silly me. Leaves the room to go to the bathroom, only to return to the bin being completely on fire with flames as high as the ceiling. So I grabbed the bin with bare hands and sprint to the bathroom, where I showered the bin to excinguish the fire. Miraculously, my hands were absolutely fine, but it was quite a lesson in fire safety. Also, the girl stopped harassing me and just left me alone. So at least it was a complete late waste of time. Oh, my goodness. I will once again say, please don’t burn your house down, bitches. Oh, my goodness. I love that. This is also a 15 year old story that involves fire, just like mine. We were all so dumb. If any of our underage listeners think that I’m calling you dumb, I’m definitely not. It’s just one of those things, you know what I mean? Yeah. Where you do things without thinking and you’re just like, okay, this is fine, this is completely fine, this is normal. And then you return and your house is on fire. Oh Lord. But I’m glad the skull worked out.
Participant #1:
Goodness. Alright, our next one is from Erin. Love the intro, by the way. Erin, long time listener, first time caller. Love that. Do you guys remember doing stuff like that on radio shows when we were kids? Oh yeah, right. Does anyone call the radio station anymore? I don’t listen to the radio anymore, so I have no idea. They use Spotify Premium. Okay, a bit of background. I was friends with three women, two of which who I practiced privately with and the third being someone who is a devoted Christian, which truly was never a topic or a point of friction. As with all people, mental health is really hard and luckily one of our friends has a PhD in mental health and does truly good things for the world as mental health can deteriorate relationships. I quote, broke up from standing up for myself with a Christian friend, causing a later rift for the rest of the group to distance themselves. Unbeknownst to myself, the Christian friend had declared to her church and her family and anybody who would listen, that I had tried to hex her and took away all her friends. All on October 17 this year as Mercury was leaving the Gatorade and the full moon hit. That weekend, naturally, myself and the two other women focused on having a great full moon and set intentions for growing and happiness. And in the following week, we watched as the third woman’s life fell apart. None of us had any intention to hex, but I think that the third woman hexed herself. Between car issues, family disputes, parking tickets, traffic jams, being pickpocketed, the list goes on. We kept watching Karma go to town. We felt safe and secure. And I’ll say that I think that night we had cleansing ritual. We had a cleansing ritual that might have been one of our best in our lives. With a cry, laughing emoji. I hate to see it for the friend that had all the bad things happening to them. I think that happens a lot where people build it up in their minds that they’ve gotten text and bad stuff just continues to happen or they are receiving payback by the universe for things that they have done. Yeah, I agree. Go ahead. Sorry, go ahead. You’re good. I was going to say and sometimes when we have a mirror spell set up that we don’t realize things like reflect back at people and suddenly they’re receiving like it all back, but we don’t realize that is happening. We don’t realize they did something bad to us. What I was going to say is that you did this big cleansing spell for yourself and cleansing the badness out of your life. Sometimes when we have friend groups like that and we do protection magic, right, and that sort of energy that we put out for other people and the friendship dissolves, they’re no longer getting that sort of protection that they unknowingly were getting before. On top of that, you were doing a cleansing spell to cleanse out any negativity and also cleansing, potentially previous protections that you had put up, previous words you had put up, that it becomes this sort of I wouldn’t use the word hex, but the safety net that was underneath that third friend is no longer there. That is kind of snowballing, I guess you could say, negatively, accidentally. I wouldn’t call it karma. I would call it, like I said, that safety net kind of the wool coming off from over their head, the rug being pulled out from underneath them, that some long due negativity had come around. Unfortunate, but here we are. It happens. It does. I think we have time for the last one that we’ve got, too, if you want to read it. Okay, so hopefully I’m pronouncing it correctly, so bear with me. So this is from Avery, they said. I think my favorite hexing story was when my uber Christian best friend employed my help to deal with the situation. My best friend, and for all intents and purposes, my sister and I both live in a renovated bus and travel the country together over the summer during the school year. She’s a teacher and an officer in the National Guard. She’s a part of a very orthodox Christian religion that has zero tolerance policy for witchcraft. But I had opened up to her about being pagan a couple of years ago, and she’s been very open minded. In September, she came to me and said she needed my help. She explained that she had been having very vivid nightmares of birdlike humanoid who stood in her bedroom doorway and left wet three towed footprints all over her house. She also explained that she had felt sick and fatigued, and whenever something would go wrong whenever something could go wrong, it did. A moth infestation broke out into her house and bus, and she was being harassed by coworker’s wife who had thought she was sleeping with her coworker, my sister’s boyfriend and her
Participant #1:
wait, my sister’s boyfriend. And she had also reported things flying off of the walls and going missing, only to be found in a different location. She said that she had been experiencing this for months. I did a few tests in the house and on her boyfriend and even on her boyfriend’s cat. I banished whatever entities were in the home. I counted to and cleanse the space. Did a Four corners ward. Since she’s staying in her space for the winter, place a protection spell at each window and door and gave her black salt and cleansing spray, unlocked the mirrors. It was a day long event. Afterward, I felt very uneasy about how these entities were invited in. I decided to go back to her home and place rusty coffee nails underneath full stairways and did a return to sender. I told her to watch for anyone in our life that was having the same experiences as her. A couple of weeks later, she came to me again. Her coworker told her that his wife was awake at all times of the night with nightmares, complaining about a bird woman in her bedroom and wet footprints on the hardwood. He says that their house had become infested with moths and drain flies out of nowhere and that her phone had been broken into. He took it to get fixed, only to find out she was cheating on him, which is why she thought he was cheating on her. Hashtag paranoid. I also learned that her co worker and his wife were pagan. I immediately knew she was the one who sent whatever had attached to my friend and decided to fight fire with fire. Almost a week after sending a hex her way, my sister came to me again with new reports. The woman had lost her job for harassing her coworkers. Someone had reported her for harassment after weeks of accusing my sister and the other female soldiers under my sister of sleeping with her husband, and she was being charged with different counts of harassment with electronic device. Because of this, she temporarily lost custody of her children and was forced to move out of her home, the home her soon to be ex husband owns. While moving her things out under police surveillance, her car broke down and it turned out that someone had stolen her oh, my God. I wouldn’t know how to pronounce it. Catalytic converter and punctured something in her fuel system. And to think she might have gotten away with her antics if she had just left my sister alone. When I tell you that this is the story of a hex gone, right?
Participant #1:
It’s one of those situations where it’s like if they didn’t get anything coming to them like that, they weren’t sending out to other people unnecessarily. It’s not like that person was targeted. It was simply, whoever is sending this to me, return it right back to you. You know what I mean? Yeah. Obviously you hate to see that much stuff go wrong for a single person, but obviously they were doing causing a lot of drama. And that drama just, like, came back in business through the use of spellwork, truly. Oh, that’s intense though. That’s a lot. I wonder if she was like a witch herself or she was just throwing around her energy, not knowing what she was doing. Because that happens too, like with people who aren’t necessarily witches. They don’t realize that they’re actually doing stuff and hurting others even if they want it to happen, but they’re not, like, doing full out spells in order to make it happen. Yeah. It’s wild. Well, that is all the stories we have time for today. And that being said, I think this is going to be the only copy talk we have this month. Maria. Well, not Maria. Hello. I’m like blaming you. I’m moving and it Times Up, because I was looking at the calendar. It times up that we’re going to be skipping a week of recording because of that. And with skipping that week of recording, it does Time Up that it’s going to be the Coffee Talk week. So I know that this is a new segment, but like we talked about when we first started, there’s going to be months where it only happens once, and that’s going to be this month. We’re starting off.
Participant #1:
Yeah. So I hope you guys have enjoyed this. Regardless of that little factoid, regardless of my horrible story. It was your girl doesn’t hack very often, but when I do, it’s necessary. And I don’t know nothing, really. I never have, like, a snapback because I’ve been lucky. I’m definitely not a perfect practitioner in any means, but yeah, I hex mindfully jumping fingernail polish on, like, pictures and then burning it and then getting high off the fumes and then almost burning down the house. It was really pointed. And I don’t know who you would be talking to, but you should watch yourself
Participant #1:
when we post these guys. We would love to hear from you, any kind of topic, prompts that you would like to see for the month of December. So drop it in the comments. We’d love to hear it. We’d love to see it. Let us know what you guys want to talk about. Yes, I like that. So thank you guys so much for joining us this week for Coffee Talk that we hope to see you next week. For our regular episode, you can check out our Instagram or Twitter or you can just go to coffeeandculture.com. Or you can be linked to all of our social medias as well as an RSS feed of the episodes. And as always, if you enjoy coughing cauldrons, please take a moment to review us on Apple podcasts. Or if you want to support us directly, consider joining us on our Patreon, where we share articles, special parts to exclusive episodes, and have a Spell of the Month box and a discord. So we’ll see you guys next. See you next time. Yeah, bye.